That's a pithcer of me and ma twin, Tinsel. Does Pollock on ma shoulder make ma butt look big?

Twins Trailer Trash

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

A new kind of whore...



Baby, you know me well enough to know that I don't go hawking any old product on this here blog. Having said that, I've just discovered something new and I wanted to give y'all, my closest friends, a shout about it. I purchased this item earlier today when I was up to a store we call The Wall-Mart. I don't know if there is a Wall-Mart in your area but, it is a big a#s store where a lot of folks around these parts buy sh^t we don't need. You know, many of the people who shop at Wall-Mart have really big a#ses and bodies to go with them. I guess that is just a coincidence since pretty much everyone here is F-A-T- or is it target marketing? Actually, Target is another store and, from what I hear, they don't seem to have the same clientele that the Wall- Mart does. I hope to visit a Target someday, we don't have one within three hours. Maybe once I get my license back...

Anyhoo, I digest.... The point of this post is that it is my debut as a "product" whore! Don't you just love a fresh start? The product I am urging you to run up a bunch of hits reading about is this. It is called "THE 2 in 1 EXTINGUISHER" and it is available at the Wall-Mart near the checkout register. I have picked it up several times before and put it back. That whole sucker punch, point of sale marketing sticks in my craw and chaffs it raw. I'll admit that I was doubtful and dubious too! I'm a pretty tough customer I guess.

"THE 2in 1 EXTINGUISHER" ( see photo) looks like a small sippy cup with an inverted conical top fitting around it. It has 4 little indentions around it, like any decent ashtray, not that I own one. What is different about this ashtray is that it has a cigarette shaped hole at the bottom of that cone. What it promises to do is extinguish your cig when you drop it in the hole. How could that be true? You don't add water or anything. It claims to be a self contained ashtray. I know bullsh#t when I see it and I have pondered this product and pronounced it such many times. Still thoughts of it lingered. Not many people know this but, empty-ish beer bottles will extinguish your cigarette. Of course, you have to go to the time and trouble of dropping them in. A dinner plate works well too... and that is multi-tasking . But then, you do have to expend the effort there to crush it out. These methods have always worked fine for me in the past. But I am always interested in energy saving devices.

Y'all know how lucky I have been lately. It is a new dawn for me. Normally, I am not into throwing my money around. But today seemed different. I decided to take a gamble and purchase me one of these babies. When we got back to the trailer, my Juniors and Juniorettes gathered around to see what would happen when we put the product to the test. Guess what. No. It worked like a crack addicted used car salesman on straight commission. I really could not believe my eyes. We tried it again and again and still it did extinguish our cigs every time. How amazing. So, "THE 2 in 1 EXTINGUISHER" ranks right up there with the Thermos. I've always marvel at the Thermos for it's ability to keep hot thing hot and cold things cold. How does it know? So tell all your friends to come to this blog and read about "THE 2 in 1 EXTINGUISHER"! Sure, at a buck .99, it's costly. But what price can you put on your energy and time? If you don't smoke, it makes a great sippy cup. Just ask my Won Ton.

8 comments:

Qelqoth said...

Here in the UK, we have Asda which is owned by Wal-Mart. However, I am fairly certain they do not stock a "THE 2 in 1 EXTENGUISHER".

But even if they did, I wouldn't buy it. For one, my ashtray does the job I need it to and if it didn't, I'd throw it away and get some slave in to do the job properly.

ettarose said...

Eve, I been using this sippy cup ever since my sister-in law picked one up for me on one of her truck runs. That was about 7 years ago. I always wondered why no one else had one.

Chica said...

We call those Smokeless ashtrays. I can't stand them much, because it requires real effort to not get that little hole clogged, and I'd much rahter just use a little ashtray that I can crush my smokes in. LOL

eve cleveland said...

Q,
I am not familiar with you country. The U.K? Never heard of it. But here, in America, we freed most of our slaves in the late 1980's. Sucks for us, let me tell you.
Eve

eve cleveland said...

Ettarose,
Hey, Honey. I guess they are not that easy to find because you have to have a Wal- Mart in your area.
Eve

eve cleveland said...

Chica,
I know what you mean, sis. I miss the smell of crushed out cigs on my hand. It stained my nails such a nice sepia tone.
Eve

Qelqoth said...

I beg to differ. Slavery is exactly the same as it was years ago. They just changed the name to "employment" and made it legal.

Bill said...

I'd buy one but at a buck 99, it would get kind of expensive replacing it every time it was full. I just swallom my butts.

If Mama ain't happy...somebody's gonna get kilt.