Who-da-ho? Nawww, baby..today it ain't me.

Y'all, less you been in a deep freeze.. or not visitin' us at Humor Bloggers, like I done told you to... you know what today is! Yep. It's the day formerly known as "All Saint's Day". If you didn't git the twitter, it is now gone be known as "CHELLE'S BIRTHDAY!" Chelle is my cyber-gal BFF, and I heart her more than glitter and kittens! Petty Point, where I stay, ain't xactly a friendly place. It's one hell of a town. And most of the real folks 'round here are 'bout as witty and personable as a sack a broken hammers. Except all my clients, a course. But they is generally men.



I reckon that is why Chelle means so much to me. When she found me out in the blog-o-sphere, just a few short months ago, only Won Ton and me read this thang. I reckon you could safely say she done put me on the map and introduced me to the right folks. Chelle is patient with me, and prefers to thank of me as a savant....she kindly leaves oft the idiot part. Awwwww. She is the evil genius who created the world dominatin' force at http://www.humorbloggers.com/. She also manages to infuriate and revolt people as far away as Greenland at her own blog http://offendedblogger.com/ Chelle is a feisty lil b#tch and I am pleased as punch to have her on my side. She is jist as hot as she is smart, and I'm gone transfer all of ma assets and duble down on her. I done wrote a lil poem in ode on this special day.



Chelle is great.

Chelle is good.

At Humor Bloggers, she's the Dood.

By her hand, we all are read.

Chelle, did I tell you I'm also dead?



So, this post is a toast to you, Chelle! You know I'm gone drank to that. Hope you have a lovely day filled with rainbows, precious moments figurines, clown art (not the sick kind) and bunnies. Love you, Hon. Mean it. I know how you dig all caps and tons of punctuation so, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHELLE!!!!!!!! YOU RAWK,SIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A new kind of whore...

Baby, you know me well enough to know that I don't go hawking any old product on this here blog. Having said that, I've just discovered something new and I wanted to give y'all, my closest friends, a shout about it. I purchased this item earlier today when I was up to a store we call The Wall-Mart. I don't know if there is a Wall-Mart in your area but, it is a big a#s store where a lot of folks around these parts buy sh^t we don't need. You know, many of the people who shop at Wall-Mart have really big a#ses and bodies to go with them. I guess that is just a coincidence since pretty much everyone here is F-A-T- or is it target marketing? Actually, Target is another store and, from what I hear, they don't seem to have the same clientele that the Wall- Mart does. I hope to visit a Target someday, we don't have one within three hours. Maybe once I get my license back...

Anyhoo, I digest.... The point of this post is that it is my debut as a "product" whore! Don't you just love a fresh start? The product I am urging you to run up a bunch of hits reading about is this. It is called "THE 2 in 1 EXTINGUISHER" and it is available at the Wall-Mart near the checkout register. I have picked it up several times before and put it back. That whole sucker punch, point of sale marketing sticks in my craw and chaffs it raw. I'll admit that I was doubtful and dubious too! I'm a pretty tough customer I guess.

"THE 2in 1 EXTINGUISHER" ( see photo) looks like a small sippy cup with an inverted conical top fitting around it. It has 4 little indentions around it, like any decent ashtray, not that I own one. What is different about this ashtray is that it has a cigarette shaped hole at the bottom of that cone. What it promises to do is extinguish your cig when you drop it in the hole. How could that be true? You don't add water or anything. It claims to be a self contained ashtray. I know bullsh#t when I see it and I have pondered this product and pronounced it such many times. Still thoughts of it lingered. Not many people know this but, empty-ish beer bottles will extinguish your cigarette. Of course, you have to go to the time and trouble of dropping them in. A dinner plate works well too... and that is multi-tasking . But then, you do have to expend the effort there to crush it out. These methods have always worked fine for me in the past. But I am always interested in energy saving devices.

Y'all know how lucky I have been lately. It is a new dawn for me. Normally, I am not into throwing my money around. But today seemed different. I decided to take a gamble and purchase me one of these babies. When we got back to the trailer, my Juniors and Juniorettes gathered around to see what would happen when we put the product to the test. Guess what. No. It worked like a crack addicted used car salesman on straight commission. I really could not believe my eyes. We tried it again and again and still it did extinguish our cigs every time. How amazing. So, "THE 2 in 1 EXTINGUISHER" ranks right up there with the Thermos. I've always marvel at the Thermos for it's ability to keep hot thing hot and cold things cold. How does it know? So tell all your friends to come to this blog and read about "THE 2 in 1 EXTINGUISHER"! Sure, at a buck .99, it's costly. But what price can you put on your energy and time? If you don't smoke, it makes a great sippy cup. Just ask my Won Ton.