Criss Angel, still re-invetin' the tire.

Hey, Darlin'! In case you suffer from memoro-geographicological impediment, like I do, let me hit refresh fer you and say that Baby and me is still in Lost Vegas. He finally came to and I told him 'bout the big surprise I done cracked some whips to git fer him. Yep, the show tickets, you sharp as a tic tac, Shug. Hang tight, I am fixin' to tell you bout the show. Pass me them Marlboro's, would you, Hon? And, while you are up, hand me that bottle of gin.



I got Baby all dolled up and took him to see the character from his favorite TV show...Oh naww, not Spongebob. I couldn't git tickets, even I ain't got that kind a stroke. I reckon this is Baby's B team show. It's program on the plastic scream called Criss Angel Mindf#ck. Have you heard tell of it? It's a children's show, where he does cute, lil magic tricks and what not. It airs on the A$E network. Yeah, that's the dude. He's got a precious, freshly exhumed look goin' and some real nice abs. His show is real popular 'cause the audience has a collective IQ hoverin' round forty deuce, makin' my Baby their target audience despite his age.



Anyhoo, Baby looked so good in his new finery...I could have eaten him with a spoon. It was nice to see him in a shirt without his name embrodried on the pocket. Oft we went to the Luxor to see this "Criss Angel- Believe".Y'all know I don't follow T.V. 'cause I can't git far enough away from ours to really see it, but I listen to it. I got a real good idea of what this series is about. This fella pulls threadbare stunts like sawin' hiself in half, lightin' hiself on fire, strappin' on chains and jumpin' in a pool of sharks, shiskabob prongs through the ear canal, levitatin', stickin' his hand through folks, strollin' through fan blades, escapin' from jail while nekkid.... and the timeworn standby, walkin' on water. His mama is a regular on the show. She hovers nearby in sackcloth and ashes.... wailin', gnashin' teeth, wringin' kleenex in her frosty fingernails and pushin' her glasses back on her Grecian pofile. It is perty powerful to watch. Baby really enjoyed hiself and the audience was enraptured. It made it real easy fer me to snatch of their wallets, so it wasn't a total waste of time fer me.



But, it did make me question some of the decisions I've made as a Mama. That A$E network approached me first 'bout me and the Joons havin' that show. The pitch was "Eve Cleveland and the Tethered Angels" and it was gone run opposite America's Funniest Home Videos. This was several years ago, and I really didn't thank there was much of an audience fer the kind of good, clean family fun that my kids and I enjoy at the trailer. Mistakenly, I figured all the ignorant folks watchin' TV at that time was watchin' AFV. I never told nobody 'bout it, I jist turned 'em down and carried on with our other bidness opportunities. Now, I wonder iffin I made a mistake. Y'all know how hard I try to do the right thang by all my Joons. They come first to me in all I do. I feel so bad now, that I thank I'm gone call home and see iffin they noticed I'm gone. I left 'em plenty of packin' peanuts, light bulbs and bar soap, so I know they ain't goin' hungry. There is lots of ammo and I left wads of cash and car keys, and prescription drugs, but still, they may need me. I reckon that I am missin' them lil buggers. I'm 'fraid I've failed 'em by not gettin' 'em that show on the A$E. Iffin I still had a soul, I think it would hurt right now. Yep, it's time to head home. So, soon as I play another couple rounds of black jack, Baby and me is leavin' Vegas. That is jist the kind of Mama I is.