That's a pithcer of me and ma twin, Tinsel. Does Pollock on ma shoulder make ma butt look big?

Twins Trailer Trash

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Ohio needs me.

Look a here.....Y'all ain't never seen me mad. Let me tell you what, it don't flatter me none a'tall. Don't flinch, I'm not there yet, but I can see it from here , and I feel mad comin' on.....Course, I'm not mad at you, Darlin'. Can't imagine you ever settin' me oft, long as you do what I tell you to. I love spendin' time with you. It's them other people, or the lack of 'em, that put a bee in my bonnet.

You recall, yesterdee when I told you I done uploaded that map over yonder to the right - with my own bare hands? That there is some fancy contraption that colors in red where folks have sense enough to read my blog... go head on and take you a peek. I'll wait. .....back now, Babe? See what is gettin' me in a tizzy? Just look at America...what in the hell is wrong with some parts of this country? I got two bald spots in the U.S.A! Ain't nobody there gettin' the kind of advice and wisdom they need. Help them find me. They is lost as geese out there.

Now, I got lots of other bald spots on the whole map of the world, I know. But that don't bother me none. Them folks is always asleep durin' the daytime and the majority of don't 'em speak English no way. The ones that do already read this blog...see them red dots? But my fellow brethren, right here in America ,who are not benefitin' from my blog, well, that ain't right. This country is in trouble, my map makes it pretty damn clear why. We got to ban together now. Here's what I'm gone do, and I need your help to do it. In a spirit of brotherly love, we will assume that these poor folks is just unaware that my blog is settin' here waitin' on them. Truth be known, it is perty hard to find, way out in the country like it is. And it don't help matters much that I'm lackin' all the buttons, links and gadgets available to bloggers who are savvy enough to download 'em. That's why I am so gotdam proud of my map-it's the one thing I been able to git up. No comments from the Joons, please. Anyhoo, we is failin' to get the word out without usin' the internet as a crutch -we don't need it! We can git this done on our own.

Y'all, if you don't tell your friends and family in these bald spots to look a here and color in all of America real shortly....I'm fraid I'm gone have to snatch our only new fangled gadget. I am far too great a humanitarian to be reminded that nobody in Colorado, Indiana, Ohio, Oregon, Wisconsin or the Dakotas is makin' life changes due to me. Shoot, I ain't even got nobody in Nevada, for Gawd's sake! Them of all peoples would be lovin' me. If you are a history buff, you know they are the ones that invented prostitution. Nevada is fixin to make me git up oft this recliner and go over there....

I don't mean to sound like I don't appreciate you, because I surely do. You know I love you, Shug. But fer the first time in my life, I am settin' here at the trailer tryin' to cook up a scheme to help the out the Yankees.... this map ain't good fer me, y'all. But I am willin' to leave it up there for a bit longer than one day for the sake of our beloved country, iffin you will do your part. Let's us try a good old fashioned grass roots campaign and git this map colored in. I got high hopes and I am countin' on y'all. You better git to it, cause like I said, I can see mad from here. I don't want to have to tell y'all this twiced, aright? Turn that map red on the United States part- now. Thanks, Hon. I knew I could count on you. Come here, Darlin', you look like you could use a hug.


Anna Lefler said...

OK, I'm driving to Minnesota right now with a big-ass red spot strapped to the top of my car. Should I just, you know, put it anywhere?

(Awesome post!)



eve cleveland said...

You is ma hero! I hope it ain't too out of your way, you bein' in California and all. Yeah, girl, jist drop it right inside the border and I'm perty sure it'll count. I owe you one.

Jamie said...

You are right ..we need to raise campaign money and beer money...and go all over america preaching the great Eve word. These people need a savin!! Ok let start throwing some fund raisers!

eve cleveland said...

Will you be my campaign manager?

Dano MacNamarrah said...

Sweet-pea~My face, in fact my whole body is glowing red from high blood pressure and codeine cough syrup withdrwel, which I counteracted by doubling my paxil and ritilin.

So, if you glom on PA, it should be a beacon of redness. Unless it comes to politics. Then the city of Philadelphia is mostly Democratic, whilst the rest of the state is for McTaint.

So loving you and yours. Will write apost about you soon. I'm a tad tired and sick of work and have a march on Saturday. But I'll get back anon.

Mushies, Dano

eve cleveland said...

Don't be up ther knockin' yourself out now.....take it easy. Do you hear me?

Joe Somebody said...

I have the same problem too. The Dakotas, minnesota, wisconsin, florida, texas, california, new york, new jersey, new mexico, oklahoma, nebraska, kansas, missouri, ohio, alabama, the carolinas, georgia, mississippi, colorado, alaska, arizona, utah, tennesse, kentucky, virginia, maine, rhode island. I got every other place pretty much on LOCKDOWN!!

VE said...

Go visit my friend over at Bagwine Ruminations (he was one of the two winners of my contest I did for you and is linked on my blogroll). He's from Ohio!!! A visit from him will fill that void. I'll go look at the map now and come back and give you some others. I know everybody...I can't believe they're not dropping in to say hello here! How rude!

VE said...

Well Darlin' need to visit:

Jeff at View from the Cloud. He'll get you your Minnesota

Bunny Hugger at b.Pac
She'll get you your Nevada

Marie at Memarie Lane
She'll get you your New Mexico

They're all linked on my blog.
No...don't thank me...

eve cleveland said...

Well, Joe,
In all fairness, you is in the security bidness.

eve cleveland said...

You tell all your rude friends to git their asses over to this trailer rat now, gnome sayin? I am fixin' to go rattle Bagwine's cage.
Love you,

Da Old Man said...

I colored in the New Jersey spot. And I am very impressed with your technological abilities. I wanted to upload a map, but it's way beyond my abilities.

eve cleveland said...

Old Man,
Awww, thanks, Hon. I tell you what, I will git one up fer you after you and me finish our Grand Slam, K?

Thinkinfyou said...

That map only holds the last hundred hits to your blog.Maybe you need to ask all the states you have to hold out a little so the dots in the other states can be seen every once in a while.

eve cleveland said...

You done saved the day, and maybe this here blog! That map was runnin me ragged. To hear you tell it, it makes a whole lot more sense! I can relax now.
Boy, Anna ain't gone be happy bout havin drove all the way out to Ohio.

Bill said...

Hey what? What does the US have that Canada doesn't have? Aside from 350 million potential readers, I mean, :>)

Canada is bigger ya know. In land mass. Most of it ice. But think of all the drinks you could make!

eve cleveland said...

And you forgot y'alls most important natural, Baby! Let's git to gittin'.
Hey, what I got to do that I ain't done to have me one of them name signers you made ever'body else? Don't you go takin' me for granite.

eve cleveland said...

I am on it like white on rice....I got a lil somethin' for ya next time we git together.
Nawww, Babe, it ain't a pony.

Chat Blanc said...

I'm representin' for Iowa, but it's not showin' up on the map. quite possibly cuz I recorded my location on my profile as something like "very near hell". Is hell on your map?

eve cleveland said...

You do make a good point there, gal! so good, I am fixin' to do a twitter update.

Deb said...

Hey Eve -

Here I am, the president of the Eve Fan Club, Maine branch! Your #1 Yankee fan! Do you know how hard it is for a Yankee to read southern drawl with a Maine accent, ayuh? It's hahdah than pahkin' the cah in Havahd Yahd.

Bill said...

I would never take you for granite (lol lol). I'm just waiting on your Halloween Carnival entry. :>)

If Mama ain't happy...somebody's gonna get kilt.