That's a pithcer of me and ma twin, Tinsel. Does Pollock on ma shoulder make ma butt look big?

Twins Trailer Trash

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Katfish fer Konvikz

Roll up yer sleeves, Shug. I need you to git to cleanin' them fish for me over yonder. Now why would you wear your Sundee go to meetin' clothes 'round here? You know good and well ,we all crash on the lawn down by the Jello pool Saturday night. That way, we are ready for our Casual Sunrise Service here at the Won Ton Estates.

Today is the third Sundee of the month. Guess what that means. No, Silly! It is time for our community involvement project, Katfish Fer Konvikz. It has become somethin' we all look forward to. I tell you what, Darlin'. Every time I've been incarcerated, one of the thangs I missed the most was some fried katfish. Well, one beautiful day, when I was out on parole years ago, we was all out here at the hole fishin'. We caught all we could cook up and they kept on bitin'. So, we made space in the deep freezers and filled them up too, but they was still bitin'. Naturally, we had to keep catchin' em.

Then I got to thinkin' bout all my friends, relatives and customers who were currently doin' time and it struck me clear as lightinin' what to do. So, we fried up them heaps of fish and carried 'em down to the county jail. We all had such a good time ,and it was fun to visit with everybody as they came through the grub line. That's how Katfish fer Konvikz got born. I know it was Divine Intervention and I got to give the Good Lawrd the Glory on that. Don't you know, He loved Him some katfish and I bet that Boy could cook, too!

Anyhoo, Baby. I got to fix up the hushpuppies and slaw while y'all do the fish. Won Ton and Pollock are goin' to be assistin' me so it shouldn't take long. Hey when I was up to the Piggly Wiggly somethin' strange happened. I saw this fella who looked familiar and got to studyin' him. He looked a me for a good minute and said, "Don't I know you from somewhere?" I said, "Well, I reckon I got one of your children." He said, "Oh, do you teach 4th grade?" I giggled and said, "Nawww, Hon. I was the stripper at your bachelor party, member?" I reckon that fella was comin' down with somethin' cause, he turned kindly peaked lookin' and runned oft. Just left his buggy full of groceries settin' rat there. It was good to see him again though. O.K....I'm fixin' to git to it. Thanks, Babe, for all your help today. The Lawrd loves you and so do I, Darlin'.


Da Dominus said...

*averts gaze to avoid lynching*

Shux, ma'am.

I's do thurly enjoy yo stories fer the way dey's harken back to uh ... um ... bygown age, ya matt say.

Well, I's juss wonned to say sumthin. Bah bah, nah.

Thinkinfyou said...

All your talents and you cook for charity too!?! They say nobody is perfect,but you're getting pretty damn close!!

Aria said...

Dear Eve,

Your blog is so fantastic, I'm giving you two new awards to go with your other pretty ones... The Butterfly and the I Love Your Blog awards, I'm also tagging you. Please go to

I don't expect you to publish this comment, but it was the only way I knew to contact you... Great day to you, Shug!

eve cleveland said...

Da Dominus,
Hey, Hon! I was waitin on you to stop glad you enjoyed yourself here. You are welcome any time.

eve cleveland said...

Awwww, Terri,
You I ain't easy bein' all things to all people but that is ma lot in life. Truth is, Baby, I'm a tethered angel.

eve cleveland said...

Oh a Gawd! I am typeless...thank you so much for all your validatin' me! I am real needy and this ought to tide me over for a bit. I'll be right there to collect ma stuff!

U No Hoo said...

I like the way you're going, hon. More bout the family and doings and less about hopeless losers who try to come on to you. They know who they are. You are very, very clever on your very own.
Still soberly yours,
U No Hoo

eve cleveland said...

Thanks, my friend! You set me to thinkin' I could use a lil "me" time. And don't worry, I stay drunk enough for the boff us.
Hope you are feelin' better.
Hearts and kittens,

hammy said...


Stay right where you are. You have been tagged. I repeat. You have been tagged. You have the right to remain silent, but only for a day or two. After that, respond to my humble little tag... Hmm... Didn't quite seem so humble, eh?

eve cleveland said...

I would respond, but I can't move! Thanks, Hon!!! I'll be over in a bit.

VE said...

Catfish are bottom dwellers...shouldn't you feed them to the lawyers?

Hey, your meme is up on my blog. Be warned though...I NEVER follow the rules.

eve cleveland said...

Honey, lot's a folks would say I'm a bottom dweller my own self...
As for not followin rules, you and me gonna git along just fine.

Bill said...

Sorry I don't 'do fish' Eve honey. How be I freshen up your Jello Pool for ya instead?

eve cleveland said...

Oh, Bill,
You are such a peach! Them work- release fellas had a lil too much fun it it. Poor thangs don't git out much.

TheFLy said...

I like me some catfish. Do I have to get locked up to get some catfish Eve, haha.

buzz buzz

eve cleveland said...

Hey, Hon! Nawwww, you ain't got to git locked up, just join our church , Mary Magdelene, and pitch in.

FANCY said...

Hello Eve

Thank you for your respond in BC. You have one amazing site here I really like it. :)

The party in my "cottage" have started take your friends with you and a great smile and the dancing shoes. Lets rock and roll. :)

Matt said...

I can't silently read accents...I swear I was stuck on one paragraph for 3 minutes.

Then I read it aloud...and laughed...and almost got fired.

eve cleveland said...

Come own back, baby! Yew gone git tha hang of it! Don't yew go gittin farred now...

John J Savo, the Authoring Auctioneer said...

I've heard of conjugal visits, but...

eve cleveland said...

Jonh J...
How you doin, Hon? You know, nuthin' makes a man feel more loved than a big plate of catfish...

Dano MacNamarrah said...

Crikey Eve,

You make me sorry I left North Carolina. There I was, the Innkeeper's daughter,ergo no social life. The Blue Ridge Mountains were fine, but I was lonely. I'm hopeless with US geography, but I bet we were not so far apart as now.

But, as kindred spirits, it's all grits and gravy from hereon. So I know that we'll meet before the Iraq crap is done. I have a new second-hand pick, and I've learned to drive stick!

If Mama ain't happy...somebody's gonna get kilt.