Anyhoo, Babe, I'll be ahright.....don't worry bout me none... oh, Shug, you know good and well ,I can't lie to you. Truth be told, I done somethin' today that I'm plum shamed to tell. Can't recall many times in my life feelin' this way. You won't think so highly of me when you find out what I gone and done did. Set down, Babe , let me fix you up a plate of drumsticks while they is good and hot......Yeah, I'm glad they are tasty to you. Got more in the cast iron when you're ready, so eat up.
Sugar, I know they say confession is good fer the soul. But, if you'll recall, I done sold my soul a while back.....so what good would confession do me? Well now.... I hadn't thought 'bout that. The yahoo did try to return it! And, yep, we got us a strict "no return" policy that often results in death. That's how Pawn Bidnesses is run. I got several deep freezes full of examples. Hmmm, so you think that means my soul may have reverted back to me? Hon, not many folks know this but, Gawd is a lil behind on his paper work. Hell, He probly hadn't even processed the first transfer of title... Hahaha, I reckon the confession route is worth a try. I couldn't feel no worser. I'll tell you iffin you promise to still love me in spite of my wrong doin'. Awww, there's that smile that melts my butter...
Here goes....You know our tenants, FogHorn and Prissy? Yeah, the Leghorns. We've always gotten long just fine, they have lived on or property for years. Kept their coop up real nice. Foghorn only did the crowing thang at dawn, which is part of their religion. I coached their grandson, Cocky, Jr., on my Rooster Soccer Team, The Green Bay Peckers . We went all the way to State Champs and won this year! They was good , friendly poultry- universally loved by all. The Leghorns always paid their rent on time and in cash. ....until this current financial crisis in our nation. You know, Foghorn Leghorn was a legendary film star. He amassed a fortune in royalties and syndication as well as the money he made from all of his voice over work and selling his image. My Gawd, he was 'bout up there with Elvis. ( Lawrd, I don't mean no blaspheme there 'bout the King.).
I tell you what, the stocks and such bein' what they is now.... Foghorn Leghorn just went Cukoo.....I mean to tell you. He literally thought he was one of them Costa Rican Cuckoo Clocks all the rich folks have. The kind that goes oft every 2 minutes 28 hours a day and 9 days a week. The noise got so bad, some of our more sober tenants started a blog to complain 'bout how he was distubin' the peace here at the Won Ton Estates. They even commenced to such insults as "that Yard Bird" Foghorn. Now, we don't tolerate racial slurs in this here pastoral development. That Avian , Senator Leghorn, was once one of our elected officials and a down pillar to us all. Foghorn was one of them benevolent benefactors, the nice kind, who didn't have to plaster his name on every fricasseed thang he funded, neither. I defended him against them ignerant neighbors we got livin' here mugst us. Went to bat fer him, I did. Put up with the cockadoodaldooin every 2 minutes all day and night long. He was my friend and I respected him.
Till today when I ran out of nerve pills and them kids hid my gin. I couldn't take it no more and I reckon I kindly lost it. I'm glad he is some good eatin' for you, Darlin. I can't bring myself to have a bite.... I'm still beatin' myself up over havin' commited an ornithological murder. I ain't never killed a bird of no kind before, much less an icon. Pass me that gin, would you, Shug. You know, Ole Foghorn was gettin' a smidge long in the beak. His glory days were over and he wasn't much lookin' forward to the future. Maybe it's better that he passed on to his rewards while he was still fondly remembered, if not colloquially, then perhaps universally. His goose really was kindly cooked . Pass me that fresh bottle of gin would you , Babe. Maybe I actually did us all a favor by puttin' him down. the Lawrd works in mysterious ways. Sure is peaceful round here, ain't it? Foghorn Leghorn had more than his 15 minutes of fame. And that's a whole lot to crow 'bout. Gimme one of them drumsticks, would you Shug? You always know just what to say to cheer me right up! This is some mighty good bird. Is it jist me, or can you still hear him jist a carryin' on over there at http://www.nonstick.com/sounds/