That's a pithcer of me and ma twin, Tinsel. Does Pollock on ma shoulder make ma butt look big?

Twins Trailer Trash

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

I admire my strength....

Lord, I have not been so happy to see a soul since the last time I saw you. How you been, Baby? Get on in here and tell me 'bout it. You have a good day, Hon? Awww, I'm sorry to hear that, but it sure nuff don't show on you, not a bit. Sorry, we got a crowd in the trailer. It's our Won Ton Estates' Pot Luck Supper night. Yeah, Sweetheart, those do creep round quite regular. I think you know everybody here. It's all the usual suspects. I know, Darlin', Jitters don't live here at the park, but she calls herself invited every time. That frickin' freeloadin' midget troll...let me tell you what I burnt daylight doin' with her today. I had to carry her lardass out to hunt for a Matron of Honor dress so she can stand up for Bristol Palin at her nuptials. Let me tell you what, it's not easy to find an appropriate dress for a midget who is 4 months pregnant with triplets. Especially with the "red white and you" theme Sarah is hellbent on. As usual, I am the designated step-n-fetch it! God knows I'm weary, but today, the Lord did shine some light my way.....Hang on, Baby, I'm fixin' to tell you.

I know it was a pure case of Divine Intervention. I found a XXXL, red sequined tube top on the clearance rack at Dirt Cheap for $1.18!!!! Oh, Hell yeah, I did. Naawww, LoveBug. It's not just 'cause I'm a savy shopper with a real eye for style. I got to give God the Glory on this treasure. I jammed that sonofabitch over Jitters' head and guess what. No. It damn near covers most of her body. Why I am so blessed, I will never know. I wished you had seen her prancin' round like she was on "Dancin' with them Stars."

Everything was rockin' along till Jitters' false eye done popped clean out of the socket and rolled oft. It does that every time she gets her groove on. Course, it's always me that has to go lookin' for the damn thang. I was blessed again when I found it in the dustpan there at the Dirt Cheap. Just had a lil fuzz on it, not like last time! I hope you never have to deal with a Pitt Bull eatin' a glass eye. It's not pretty, I've still got scars up and down my forearms from that debacle.

Anyhoo, Babe. What do you say we get us a piece of that cake I made special for the social tonight? If I do say so myself, it's almost too nice to cut into. But, I know you are the only person here that's worth it!


Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Well, bless my soul, this was too funny!

eve cleveland said...

So glad you stopped by! Can I get you some trash?

Chat Blanc said...

haha! That tube top sounds HAWT! good times. :)

eve cleveland said...

Hello, Kitty!
You know you can borry that tube top any time, but I think it might be too big for you! Especially after Jitters gets through with it.

Anonymous said...

How did Jitters lose her real eye?
Just Wandering

Anonymous said...

You didn't tell us what Mighty Mouse said you should change your first name to. I'm waiting!

eve cleveland said...

Dear, Just,
Jitters lost her eye when she caught me at a bad time. She deserved it.

eve cleveland said...

Mighty Mouse said my name should be Glitter. Thats funny because that is the name my birthparents gave me before they wrapped me up in a bag and put me near the trash at the campsite where I was found. Perhaps you should consult him because your name is soooooo overdone!

Bill said...

Any woman who can dress someone for a wedding for $1.18 is the woman for me. And she cooks too! Bring on the cake, I've died and gone to heaven.

Thinkinfyou said...

I love the trailer made out of graham crackers and marshmallows. You could put it on a big stick and roast it in a big bonfire and have one hell of a smore!! YUM!

eve cleveland said...

What can I say, Babe? I am the total package!

If Mama ain't happy...somebody's gonna get kilt.