Lord, I have not been so happy to see a soul since the last time I saw you. How you been, Baby? Get on in here and tell me 'bout it. You have a good day, Hon? Awww, I'm sorry to hear that, but it sure nuff don't show on you, not a bit. Sorry, we got a crowd in the trailer. It's our Won Ton Estates' Pot Luck Supper night. Yeah, Sweetheart, those do creep round quite regular. I think you know everybody here. It's all the usual suspects. I know, Darlin', Jitters don't live here at the park, but she calls herself invited every time. That frickin' freeloadin' midget troll...let me tell you what I burnt daylight doin' with her today. I had to carry her lardass out to hunt for a Matron of Honor dress so she can stand up for Bristol Palin at her nuptials. Let me tell you what, it's not easy to find an appropriate dress for a midget who is 4 months pregnant with triplets. Especially with the "red white and you" theme Sarah is hellbent on. As usual, I am the designated step-n-fetch it! God knows I'm weary, but today, the Lord did shine some light my way.....Hang on, Baby, I'm fixin' to tell you.
I know it was a pure case of Divine Intervention. I found a XXXL, red sequined tube top on the clearance rack at Dirt Cheap for $1.18!!!! Oh, Hell yeah, I did. Naawww, LoveBug. It's not just 'cause I'm a savy shopper with a real eye for style. I got to give God the Glory on this treasure. I jammed that sonofabitch over Jitters' head and guess what. No. It damn near covers most of her body. Why I am so blessed, I will never know. I wished you had seen her prancin' round like she was on "Dancin' with them Stars."
Everything was rockin' along till Jitters' false eye done popped clean out of the socket and rolled oft. It does that every time she gets her groove on. Course, it's always me that has to go lookin' for the damn thang. I was blessed again when I found it in the dustpan there at the Dirt Cheap. Just had a lil fuzz on it, not like last time! I hope you never have to deal with a Pitt Bull eatin' a glass eye. It's not pretty, I've still got scars up and down my forearms from that debacle.
Anyhoo, Babe. What do you say we get us a piece of that cake I made special for the social tonight? If I do say so myself, it's almost too nice to cut into. But, I know you are the only person here that's worth it!