Hey, Darlin'! I am in a whole lot better frame of mind than I was yesterday. Yep, I've calmed down considerable. You know, a harrowin' near death experience never fails to give me some clarity. I realize now that I overeacted to the house boat capsizing...it's not that big a deal, really. Silly me! Once I knew I was going to live, I was overwhelmed with worry 'bout havin' to tell Slick that Baby and me done ruint his fancy boat. I holed up there at the trailer nekkid and shiverin' while fear set up like concrete in my tummy. Now Y'all, I strive to be a good role model for all my Joons. I'm forever preachin' to 'em that when there is no possible way to weasel out of a problem, then you've just got to face it head on. This was a good case in point, and I decided to take the opportunity to teach my kids a life lesson. So, they fixed me up a pitcher of Bloody Mary's and fetched me a bag to breath into. Some of 'em took my wet boots oft while I popped nerve pills and got myself together. With that, I walked over to Slick's trailer thinkin' bout what a good example I was settin' for my children, skeered as I was. Well, guess what. No.
You are not going to believe my luck.....I can't hardly wrap my mind 'round it my own self. I banged on that trailer door and didn't hear nothin' comin' back at me. My nerve pills were kickin' in so I gave it a push. Guess what I saw. Nawww. Slick was there in his recliner - dead as a hammer. I know what you are thinkin', Shug. Why am I so lucky? Hon, your guess is as good as mine.
I took a quick look around and saw that Slick had made a common mistake. He set oft 42 D-Con Roach Bombs 'round the trailer and then fell asleep. Not many people know this but, when you set them thangs oft, it is not good for a person to stay inside. Be sure to leave your trailer when y'all use those bug bombs-and don't forget to take your children and pets with you. So many lose their lives this way each year. I wish they would have a public service announcement or somethin'. Anyhoo, I reckon you can infer that I didn't have to tell him 'bout the house boat afterall. Just goes to show you that most of the thangs we git ourselves all jacked up about never come to pass no way. Specially when the Lawrd is clearly on your side like He is on mine.
Baby is still over in the yard hollerin' and carrin' on. The kids and I always get a kick out of a stumblin' ramblin' drunk-long as it ain't me. I told him to git, but he won't listen. Some of the Joons are fixin' up some balloons filled with battery acid to pitch at him. That usually does the trick. You know what, Hon? I think I'm threw with him. I'll check on y'all later. Lovin' you...