That's a pithcer of me and ma twin, Tinsel. Does Pollock on ma shoulder make ma butt look big?

Twins Trailer Trash

Saturday, October 11, 2008

When I say, "Rock Steady", I mean it!

Well, last night ended badly! It was the perfect evening for a while.... moonlight, Lynyrd Skynyrd, good buzz goin', the smell of Avon Skin So Soft and Crisco, whispers and giggles, nekkidness....just the two of us all alone out on Slick's houseboat that I had borrowed till dawn. It was the kind of stuff lastin' memories are made of -course, I am always too drunk to remember 'em. But you get the idea.
Anyhoo, it was goin' along just fine and we moved our lil party for two up to the top of the house boat. It was workin' for me until Baby started gettin' all jiggy! I told him to settle down 'cause that boat was already listing to the side pretty bad. Some things are better saved for dry land. Would he listen to me? Oh, Heyall to the no! He just kept right on goin'. I've spent a lot of time on the water and I do have a Ph.D in Physics. The center of gravity on that boat is too high to accommodate much rockin'. I kept screamin' over AC/DC's " You shook me all night long". That man just went on pretendin' not to hear me, I wish I had a dollar for everytime that's happened..... oh, wait, I do. So much for me ever tryin' to relax and enjoy my off time!

Yep, we were goin' down - and not it a fun way. The whole boat started capsizin' just like I predicted, and we found ourselves upside down underwater in the trailer part of the house boat. Still, Baby was like the gotdam band from the Titanic! Sometimes I can be really selfish. Judge me if you will, but I just was not willing to drown so that he could have a good time. I got myself out of that boat, dog paddled up to the bank and stomped back to my trailer. I'm still mad as a wet hen. The only good news is that Baby wanted me to leave my boots on so, at least I've still got those. I am not talkin' to him for at least 2 hours! And I don't care how loud he carries on out there or how many rocks he throws at the window. That's how mad I am. Now, I got to go break the news to Slick and I don't have a good feelin' 'bout that. Men!


Thinkinfyou said...

Show Slick this picture.

Tell him you just helped him out....underwater resorts are all the rage now!!

Lance Martin said...

Hey, good stuff, too. Thanks for visiting my site, too.

eve cleveland said...

What would I do without you!? You even called it that the boat was gonna sink....
Love u n mean it, sis!
P.S. That hotel makes me wanna see how long I can hold my breath...

eve cleveland said...

I'm honored by your presence here. Pop in anytime!

Anonymous said...

Hey Eve,
Now what did I tell you about the stabilizers? I speak from experience, marital/maritime relationships require special care...I have scars on my youknow to prove it.

ettarose said...

How do you do it? You crack me the hell up, and all your little stories are just as funny as the first. Stumbled this sugar!

eve cleveland said...

Oh, Ettarose!
Thank you so muchy....I'm lucky cuz I just write bout what really happenz. Thanx fer the stumble.

Anonymous said...

I don't like Baby. Opportunist loser. I liked it when you talked to all of us about your life, not just about him. Baby is a dunce and you are not. Think about that.

eve cleveland said...

Mom, is that you? I know you neva cared for this Baby. Tell ya the truth, I think I'm frew wifff him...sniff, snifffff.....he brought me a shrimp platter but stillll.. I'm thinkin' its time to move on.

Bill said...

Have I told you lately that I love you? I have become addicted to this! Too funny for words, especially the 'Oh wait, I do'. lol lol lol lol

eve cleveland said...

Back at ya, Baby! How do you like my new avitar?

If Mama ain't happy...somebody's gonna get kilt.