That's a pithcer of me and ma twin, Tinsel. Does Pollock on ma shoulder make ma butt look big?

Twins Trailer Trash

Monday, September 1, 2008

Hey, Honey. We got Juniorette cut down from the headboard. Poor thing had ground her wrist to sausage by the time we found her. Not many people know this, but it does you no good to try to twist your hand out of a cuff if your thumb is not double jointed. I had to go coach my rooster soccer team and took her with me. My Green Bay Peckers were on fire! We smoked those Henhouse Raiders 6 to zip. I think we've got a pretty good shot at the State Championship. To celebrate, we got us some pork rinds, lil smokies and a case of Big Red on the way home. Daddy was out on the stoop waiting on us when we walked up. He got robbed and they stole his ice cream truck. At least he has that Geico insurance. I had warned him about flashing all those ones around, but he wouldn't listen. He's going to stay with us a while since there's room in the dryer now.

Jitters got wind of Won Ton's new rig and came over to see it. He said he'd give her ride to work at Hooters. I think it's a mistake to get that started, but at least I won't have to piggyback ride her anymore. Like Won Ton said, "Mama, she rittle rike me. She onry one can fit in my caw." That's just another advantage she has in being a dwarf! Boy, was she bragging about all the tips she's making at her new job. You can set a drink right on top of that gal's noggin. She is so lucky to have that nice, flat head and when she takes out her dentures no man can resist her.
I reckon I better get on some of these chores. The Juniors got out the cooking oil and visqueen and made a slip and slide down the hall of the trailer. That's always been a fun rainy day activity for us. But now that Won Ton is our landlord he says, "Mama, you not get deposit back if rug not crean." I've got so much laundry to do that I'm fixing to borrow Pee Brain's F150, load it up and run it all through the car wash. I hope it's dry by tomorrow because that snooty school, We Are Better Than You Academy, sent me a mean letter saying that all my Juniors were in danger of losing their academic scholarships if they miss any more days. Now can I send my children to school if they don't have any clean clothes to wear? Can I help it if it rains and I can't hang it all out? They are so strict!


Mopsy said...

So glad you are back! My moon has been in the wrong house ever since you left. If I'd known you were gone back to the 5th century I would have asked you to bring me something back, so I guess it's good you didn't tell anybody. That Won Ton is such a good little toddler. I congratulate you on how you raised him. You could write a book about that,I bet.
Your friend

If Mama ain't happy...somebody's gonna get kilt.