That's a pithcer of me and ma twin, Tinsel. Does Pollock on ma shoulder make ma butt look big?

Twins Trailer Trash

Monday, August 18, 2008

bobbin n weavin'

Hey, Lovebug! Did you get your haircut? Looks real good! Hope you had a stellar Monday. Just been bobbin' and weavin' here-bidness as usual. I did manage to tackle some of the mile high laundry and hang it-course it started raining before I could take it all in. It's all still out there wet as wool, but the sun will come out tomorrow or someday soon and it will dry-I bet my bottom dollar on that, so y'all pray. Had to take me a little nap after all that (see pic). When I heard a knock at the door I woke up and was so groggy and sober that I answered it. Sure wish I hadn't done that, because it was that b*tch of a landlord of mine whining about me being behind on my rent again. She asked why I came to the door buck nekkid. What a silly question. I said, "Do you not see all the clothing we own on the clothesline over yonder?" This gal's a little slow even if she is a real estate mogul. I reckon that made her mad, and I guess I shouldn't have been so snappy to a slow person. She said, "You pay me that rent by tomorrow or I will jerk this trailer right out from under you. You will come home and you will have moved." I think she meant it too. But again, y'all saw the picture of my complex. We're on the top floor-how is she going to jerk this trailer without having the rest of them fall? So, I crossed that off my worry list and started grading my quantum physics class's papers. I was just about done and heard another knock at the door. I was awake now and not that drunk, since it was not noon yet. So I peeked through the mini-blinds and guess who I saw standing on my stoop? No, it was one of my ex-husbands (see pic).
I'd know that tat anywhere, it took me months to finish it. In a fit of nostalgia I flung open the door and said, "Hey, Daddy!"(Here's a tip for y'all. If you get married a lot, like I do, call all your husbands "Daddy" it is soooooo much easier than trying to keep them all straight. It's also been helpful to me to name all my kids, "Junior" or "Juniorette" so you don't really have to figure out all those niggling details. I did name one of mine Won Ton because if his "Daddy" ever shows up I'm sure I'd recognize him. Every time I lay eyes on that boy it flings a craving for eggrolls on me. Anyhoo, there was Daddy right there before me in all his glory. D#mn, he looked good. When he turned around I remembered what I had loved about him in the first place, need I say more? I didn't want my neighbors to see me out on the stoop nekkid and hugging a man again so, logically, I invited him into the trailer. Daddy said, "Must be wash day, Sugar." I'd forgotten how well he knew me. I dug up a picture from our wedding (see pic) and we laughed about the good old days. I can't believe I walked away from a man like that to just because I was accepted at M.I.T! Like that's a big deal.

Daddy explained that after he was paroled early for good behavior (like our boy, Junior) he had access to sites that would allow him to endure many hours of unmitigated "instructional videos" on line to finally find me. I admire his strength and determination - a love like that is hard to find, y'all. Well, we visited so much that we hardly had a minute to get tanked up before it was time for me to go pick up all my Juniors and Juniorettes. He's so sweet that he said he'd drive me.(That saved me some time, because I didn't have to go up to the truck stop and hitch a ride with somebody). I told him one of the kid's favorite games is "Meet yo' Daddy!" We play that a lot. (Plus, it gave me a chance to do the couple of shots of Old Turkey I need to face the carpool maze. ) When I stumbled out to the parking lot of our complex, my jaw dropped at what he was driving. Daddy has just financed himself a pimped out ice cream truck. (That shows that he's got good credit!). Clearly, this man has a head toward profit. Can y'all believe that I could be so lucky? When we got to the school, no one could take their eyes off this rig or Daddy's generous mouth. All those P.T.A. mamas were so jealous. I've trained my kids right ,they know good and well to get in the vehicle as fast as they can and cram in until it's full -or they walk back to the trailer complex. That ice cream truck held most of them, I think. We've always got stragglers. That's good because it teaches them to be competitive and it makes for less mouths to feed.

As we drove back to the trailer complex the kids were so excited-he was offering free ice cream to them all. (Thank God, because who has that kind of money laying around?) I used my tag line and said to Daddy, "A man like you knows which one's his own child when he sees 'em. Huh, Babe?" He looked a little dazed for a minute and then picked a few out of the crowd....I'd double down that the was right on most of them, but I'm not a detail person.
If Mama ain't happy...somebody's gonna get kilt.