Oh, Lord, I have never been so glad to lay eyes on anybody in my life! How you been gettin' along, Baby? Bring your cute tail on in this trailer and fix me a drank (spank!). You been workin' out, Hon? Well, it's workin' for me. Damn, you sure are lookin' good .....Just dump them night goggles, jumper cables and pizza boxes oft the fold out and and let's snuggle for a lil bit. Ahhh, it's lovely to be off the clock.... So, I'm real glad to hear you been doin' good. Oh, I'm fine, been thinkin' bout you all the time, as usual. But still, productive. Why, yes, I did put new-ish tin foil in the windows, nothin' gets by my Man! It freshens things up a bit, don't it? Yeah, I'm still sprucing for my twin sister , Tinsel's ,visit. This place is startin' to come together.
What's that, Shuga? Oh, yep, I did dye the wall to wall flooring black. You are so observant. Well I reckon I splashed some of that black stain on my hands. Not to worry, it will wear oft in two , three months- tops. Just look... now you can barely make out them bloodstains in the hall! Jeez, since Won Ton became my landlord, he has turned into a true tightwad! God knows, I bucked for real carpet. It shames me to tell that my own son won't replace this astro turf before his Auntie Tinsel's visit. That boy one tough toddler, I kid you not....
Oh, Darlin', don't get me going on that. Let's have some fun. Honey, you are too far away. Scoot on ova here. Come on, I won't bite you unless you want me to! Oh, yeah, that's what I'm talking about. How was my day? You know, you are the only one who ever asks me that, don't you Baby? Just another reason I am so smitten with you. Well, I was fixin to tell you... I had to run by Jitters and glue that gotdam front tooth of hers on AGAIN! Gorilla Glue just ain'tholding it like it used to. She needs to lay off that corn on the cob...she eats it to torture me. That frickin' troll doll... how long will I be tethered to her? I hate her more than snakes. Here I go complainin' again, I'm sorry, Babe.
On to more pleasant topics...You know how I'm forever yammerin' about the fun we have over at Humor Bloggers http://www.humorbloggers.com/? Well, guess what. No, Shuga. The good folks over there have devised a pretty rock solid plan for us to dominate the world in just one week. Do I need to tell you that I doubled down on that? I know a lil sumthin' sumthin' about the whole Dominatrix thing, don't I, LoveBug? Hmmm, yeah. Uh-huh....
Anyhoo, we are supposed to be creating an awareness about how superior our member's blogs are. Duh, dat! It says it plain as day on the header- we are the funniest humor writers in the world! Plus, we have to be voted in by stringent process that involves being clad in ALL white. Baby, you know I'm a team player, right? Shhhhh, Darlin', all that was supposed to be between us.! And you STILL need to get that video of me oft the U Tube unless you are going to find a way to capitalize on it! Oh, I'm sorry again, Hon. I know how you hate when I bring my work home with me. Baby, you just settle down now. Let's not talk about my bidness .
The plan for World Domination calls for us to pimp another blogger who is not a member of our Empire right now and invite them to join. There are some real funny ones out there. I'm gonna go with "15 Minute Lunch" at http://15minutelunch.blogspot.com/. Go hit that and see if you don't get a kick out of him. I don't know this dude personally, but I'd like to...He looks just like G.I. Joe, I've always kinda had a thing for a man in uniform. Oh, Baby, don't start getting all jealous, it's only an avatar for Pete's sake! This deal is a purely professional interest in the quality of his writing. I simply admire his art form and creative use for seemingly mundane topics. I've got to do my duty to for my colleagues at Humor Bloggers.
Now, I want to do something special for you for voting for me as Blog of the Year ova there, Darlin. http://www.humorbloggers.com/. The whole thing's probably rigged and I have a snowball's chance of winning, but I felt the love from you. Thank you for takin' the time to stop by and cast a vote for me. It sure means a lot. I'm gonna make it worth you while. We just git each other, and you are the wind beneath my wings! You know that is one of my favorite songs. Hey, what do you say we hot wire us a Camero and go up to the Sonic for corn dawgs...my treat! Hey, Baby, wait for me!
