Hey, Hon. Come sit down here with me a minute. You caught me feelin' a lil bit blue. I'm sheddin' some tears 'bout that poor man who got trampled to death by a crowd of 2,000 at the Wal- Mart. They put a gal 8 months pregnant along with 3 other folks in the hospital too. Looks like the lady, her baby, and the others is gone be aright. This happened up in New York, but that don't matter. Could a happend anywhere. I gaurangotdamtee you that. You jist kiddin' yourself iffin you don't thank so. This fella was 34 years old and workin' temporary as a over-night stocker at the Wal-Mart. From that sentence alone, I don't need to spell it out fer you that his life probably was not goin' accordin' to plan. I didn't know him, but I doubly doubt that is what he had in mind fer hiself. And anybody that dies from gittin' trampled to death at Wal-Mart is bound to want his money back on that. I know I would. That's a bad way to go, there.
I'm thankin' Black-Eye Friday would be a better name fer this day than Black Friday. I wouldn't shop on this day fer love nor money. Crowds really ain't my brand, even nice ones. But crowds that rip metal doors oft hinges and jist walk rite all over folks..... The idea of Black Friday is to go and buy all the crap you gone give people fer the Holidays 'cause it is on sale today. Jist come on down and buy, buy buy all you can buy, buy, buy. Well, I don't know nobody that needs nothin' that bad. Iffin they did, you should have got it fore now. Thoughtless gifts bought under duress rarely thrill me. Most of us already got so much more than we need, me included. Iffin I was Gawd, I'd consider cancelin' Christmas this year to teach folks a lesson. But, so far, it ain't up to me. Don't thank I won't speak to Him 'bout it though.
Darlin', I'm sorry I ain't bein' too much fun today. I'm jist real disappointed. I'm preachin' to the choir here. I wish I had a way to git in touch with them Wal- Mart shoppers that rip doors oft hinges and trample people to buy a Wii on sale. I been in prison enough to know their type. Nothin' is ever their fault, it's a way of life fer some. Shug, that's what makes it even more important fer us to go out of our way to be kind and patient. Give folks a break when we can, cut 'em some slack. When we're wrong, admit it. Go the extra mile- cause we can. We gone rock steady.... Those of us who is still capable of behavin' like humans need to rally now. We're becomin' like one of them endangered species. Come here and give me a hug. Now, let's mix us up some dranks and do a bit of shoppin' on line. How does that sound? You always know what to say to make me feel better, Lovebug.
