That's a pithcer of me and ma twin, Tinsel. Does Pollock on ma shoulder make ma butt look big?

Twins Trailer Trash

Friday, November 21, 2008

Idol hands

Y'all, I had me one of them days today. Left me lookin' like I been been pulled backwards through a keyhole. That costs extra, jist so you know. Anyhoo, got to visit with a old friend of mine. We go way back... lot of historical features between us. He's jist as cute as a kitten in glitter. This fella's got two eyes, like most folks, only his don't match. I always call him Ziggy. He stays real busy, some kind of mogul or 'nother. But we manage to hook up whenever his schedule allows, he still travels a good bit. American is Ziggy's second language, he's from that country called Jolly Old that I can't find on no World Map. I can't hardly understand nothin' he says no way, but the man can sure sing. And when he says "Let's dance" ..well, it's real persuasive.

He's always claimed he's got a thang fer little china girls and ours is a modern love. Far be it from me to point out the flaws there. Like my mama says, "You don't wake a snake to kill it." Today he was just yammerin' on 'bout bidness and signin' parchments with a quill. So, I got to fiddlin' with his laptop. I ain't good with stray buttons, y'all. I try to keep my hands busy - a smoke and a drink in each at all times. But the service was fairly poor there ,since he gave the staff the day oft. I made a few bad strokes and lost some perty important cypherins on his computer. He was a teensy bit ornry with me fer a minute or more. But we worked the kinks out and it was stardust again. Ziggy wrote this lil song fer me and I thought y'all might git a kick out of it. I promise I won't go pushin' buttons when I don't know what they might do ever again! Unless that is what someone is wanting me to do-customer service is my strongsuit. Well, here's the song.

Hey, Eve, oh leave my keyboard alone, you know..

Hey, Eve, oh Honey, get me the phone, I gotta..

Hey, Eve, I'm gonna take back your mace..

This smokin' whack b#tch just knocked myspace out of place...

Hey, Eve, you are to blame..

Hey, Eve, it's all quite a shame...

Hey, Eve, well, what the f#ck and gotdamn..

She said she had to tease me but she...then she....


Oh, don't go mean on me M'am, cause I'm not s'possed to kickit

Just sit there and look pretty

Oh, don't go mean on me, M'am

'Cause you lie there and get lit

Just sit there and look pretty

It ain't right...but she's tight

Hey, Eve, Honey, you go unwind..I'll pay

Hey, Eve, these things can take time, this may

Hey, Eve, might I get you a beer?

Just please don't let my wife she comes, here she comes...


Oh.. Iman hit me!

Well, then I had the good sense to take my leave. Y'all know good and well what I said on the way out...yeah. Wham, Bam Thank You, M'am. I'm not one to interfere with domestic squabblins, I jist 'cause 'em. That wife of his is a long, tall drink of water, let me tell you what. Real perty lady, 'cept it looked to me like she ain't nibbled on so much as a cotton ball since the 80's. Almost as skinny as one of them Ethiopian folks. But like I said, I ain't gone git up in their problems. With all that clatter goin' on today I forgot 'bout makin' a post fer my dear friend, Ettarose Carnival. So, jist tween you and me...I'm gone send this here as my entry. It ain't gone matter that Ziggy wrote that silly lil song, is it? I mean, it ain't like he's some big deal anybody's ever heard of or nothin'. Y'all go see Ettarose and check out the carnival at Meet me at the kissin' booth after my shift is over, aright?


LL said...

Quite the catchy tune there dahlin'...

Dano MacNamarrah said...

Sweet Cousin,

You should know that I'm also from Jolly Old. One day my homeland might be recognized by the great US of A. Until then, I suspect we'll make and drink pots of tea, barrels of Guiness and consume massive amounts of Bangers 'n' Mash, Fish 'n' Chips and British Rail Pork Pies.

I'll be back, to catch up with you and the Joonz. Tell that Joon with the tat that it will sag, at best, or disappear under a sagging belly. That'll make her love you big time!

Not The Rockefellers said...

Doesn't it make your day to be an inspiration?

To jerk some genius out of someone's noggin? ;)

I say, keep on tuggin'

Peace - Rene

Thinkinfyou said...

I love David Bowie too! And you got him to write a song for you!! Lucky girl!!

Anonymous said...

Eve, come clean.

You were tap dancin' on that keyboard, weren't you?

Come on "kitten" you can feel safe with us.

Confession is good for the soul.

eve cleveland said...

Hey, thanks fer perchin' here a minute. The tune is catchy but, I got my flu shot, so I'm hopin' I can shake it.

eve cleveland said...

Oh ma Gawd, give me a hug! I been missin' you like scissors. Sent you an email, so check em. We're expectin'you fer Thanksgivin' now, you hear?

eve cleveland said...

Hey, Girl...thanks fer comin' by the trailer. I will say it is nice work bein' a muse. Easy on the feet to. Come back soon, ok?

eve cleveland said...

Awwww, girl, I got stacks of his scribblins. We'll git him to write one fer you next time , aright?

eve cleveland said...

I did do a lil table dance....but the thang was shut. So, it was either that or when I cleaned the keyboard oft real good for him with some pine-sol. It had all kinds of funk in between the keys. Not anymore, though.

Chat Blanc said...

oh that song is endearing! poetic really. you're a lucky gal! :D

Da Old Man said...

Great song. Casey Casem would love it.

eve cleveland said...

You know, I don't thank it would ever catch on. He don't need to qwit his day job, what ever that pays real good.

eve cleveland said...

Old Man...
It would make a good long distance deadication, them's so touchin'.

Anonymous said...

Good lyrics. OK settle a bet between Bubba and me. It is {boo-ie or boa-ie?
Free Wheeler

eve cleveland said...

Free Wheeler...
Why you boys is talkin' bout knives I don't know. But I always say it Bow-ee like a Bow tie...I've heard it said Boo-ee too. I reckon its up to y'all.
Good luck to ya.

John J Savo, the Authoring Auctioneer said...

Some great one-line zingers in this post, Eve. Your comedy just keeps getting better.

You've been stumbled, Darlin'.

eve cleveland said...

John J...
Awww, thanks, Babe. Hope I woke them cats. Love it when you stumble me ;)

lilaphase said...

Thanks for stopping by.

You watch out for those tall beautiful women who find something pretty like yourself hanging with their man.

They can throw phones and stuff.

eve cleveland said...

Oh, Lilaphase..
You don't got to worry bout me none. I can bob and weave with the best of 'em. Got the belts to prove it somewhere.

aries28 said...

You are a real hoot Eve, great site. I knew you had to be a "true" suthener when I read your comment on Anna Lefflers blog. I will foller you furever! Rock on!
Peace, Cathy

eve cleveland said...

Hey, Hon! Any friend of Anna's is a friend of mine! Pull up a lawn chair and git me beer.

Jeffman said...

I shall be at said kissing booth poste-haste, Eve.

I trust I shan't have to pay for this service? What with proposed nuptials and all that.

eve cleveland said...

Now you jist talkin' know you runnin' a tab.

Bee said...

Oh great! Now I'm going to have that song in my head all day tomorrow. ;o)

eve cleveland said...

Well, girl...anything that makes you do that famous wiggle is fine as wine with all us down South.

If Mama ain't happy...somebody's gonna get kilt.