That's a pithcer of me and ma twin, Tinsel. Does Pollock on ma shoulder make ma butt look big?

Twins Trailer Trash

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Y'all come on...we're goin' to the happiest place I know!


Baby, we only got what..7 or 8 days left till Halloween? If we don't git our shoppin' done now, we not gone have a chance of beatin' them hoarders. So come on, drank up. There is plenty more where we're goin'. This is your lucky day, Shug. I am fixin to carry you to the happiest place in Petty Point!

It's called Frank's Package Store. But let me tell you what. It is so much more than that. Besides the booze, the thang that makes me look so forward to visistin' there is Frank! I'll have you know, he's an ex pro baseball player who is still a home run every time with me. He's by far the most successful bidness man in town - my Won Ton don't count cause he's just a baby. With me bein' by far the most successful bidness woman in town , it's fair to say that Frank and me share a special bond. Let me tell you flat out, you can look at him all you want to. But iffin his rock solid 30 year marriage to that wonderful lady ever busts up-I'm first in line. So, don't git no ideas. Do you hear me? Aright, nuff said.

We got to load up on all variety of half pints to pass out to the children at Halloween. Last year, Jack Daniels was a big hit with the older critters while the younger ones prefer something smoother like Baileys. I mean to tell you we had a line to our trailer that stretched past the city limits. Thank the Lawrd we got us my new company van to haul it all back to Won Ton Estates. That's gone save us a heap a time.

Then we got to run by and git us a huge mess of hermit crabs and goldfish to pass out long with the half pints. Course, we'll need cases and cases of Marlboro Ultra Light 100s. We can purchase them next door from Frank's son, Phillip. He's a good lookin' boy in his own right. Step it up, Bunnytail. We ain't hardly gone have time to tie lil orange and black ribbons round the necks of all the bottles. What in the hell you doin' in there? Naaaw, Baby! We don't need no water for them gold fish nor crabs. We gone hand 'em out dead and save kids the heartache of killin' 'em they own selfs. You know, Hon....sometimes I wonder 'bout you....

30 comments:

Chat Blanc said...

OMG! the bestest Halloween ever is at your place! how come I didn't know that last year! dammit!

Trukindog said...

Damn darlin ya aint got a age limit on your trick er treaters do ya...how far is from here to Petty Point Miss.?

Thinkinfyou said...

I love the idea of giving out dead pets! The ones I've bought alive for my kids have died within a week anyways.I see it as a great way to save tears,and not give out false hope to the youth! You are a wonder,Eve!!!

eve cleveland said...

Kitty,
You git that cute tail of yours on in this trailer. Me n you is kin folks now, Girl.
Eve

eve cleveland said...

Truckindog,
It ain't near too fer not to have you here with us, Darlin.
Eve

eve cleveland said...

T..
Thank you, Sweetie. I am just glad to lend a hand when I got so many extras.
Eve

Bill said...

I don't much like the sound of this Frank fella. But I can sure see why your place is so popular Eve. You must get a great deal on the Marlboros, smokes're so expensive. I won't ask how but a few cartons in the mail wouldn't be unwelcome. :>)

eve cleveland said...

Now Bill,
I am countin on you to git down here fer all the festivities...you ain't got to worry bout my Frank. He only busts knee caps that need em.
Eve

Dano MacNamarrah said...

Sweet Pea,

You put me to shame. Now, I know South Carolina sells cases of those sweet little airplane bottles. It never occurred to me to hand out entire pints! You know how to do Halloween right.

Bet yours is the most favourite trailer for parks around. Shitballs. I wish I were younger or nearer. Or both.

I haven't had a cig in three days! It's bloody killing me. I even got a new script for codeine cough syrup, but why fill it?

Have you ever tried enjoying a nice buzz without a Marlboro? Guess I'll wait til I'm well enough to smoke, then kick out the $15 (!) for the codeine script.

Loving the hanging banana! Bloody bril!

Anonymous said...

Eve,
Tell Frank and Phillip hello, but don't tell em where I am cuz I haven't paid my bill. You told me it wasn't a good idea to open a charge account. It's more than my rent.
Ellis

eve cleveland said...

Dano..
Hey, Girl! You come on down and git this party started fer me. It is gone be rowdy and I will need me some back up. And don't forget that cough syrup, it's all hands on deck here, Darlin.
Eve

eve cleveland said...

Ellis,
I done told you not to be jackin with Frank less you want to draw back a numb. You better git out there and find you some yards to cut. Lawrd knows he done got every last gold tooth from your skull last time you tried to stiff him.
Eve

Jeffman said...

Glad to see you're catering for the little'uns too. Whisky is way too sour for the pre-teen palate.

Alcopops or super-strength cider also go down a treat and tend to be cheaper than the Baileys.

Saying that though, I'd probably just lock the doors and drink the lot myself (I obviously don't share your philanthropic streak.)

Kristen said...

Man,sure glad I found you before all the goods got got. I'll be stumblin' your way soon as I find a ride

eve cleveland said...

Jeffman...
You know what, Shug? That alcopop thang is a dern good idea to send in the Joons lunches. Thanks for the tip!
Lovin you!
Eve

eve cleveland said...

Kristen,
You holler iffin you want me to send Pollock to come git your tail...he drives real good fer a monkey.
Eve

VE said...

Hot damn, I'm comin' over to your trailer to trick or treat this year! Should I wear my Howdy Doody disguise box?

Groovy Black Chick said...

Miss Eve Cleveland, you're hysterical and I love you. May I call you The Groovy Trailer Chick? *subscribed, blog-linked, done*

eve cleveland said...

VE...
The box is fine, Darlin...but leave the swim trunks at home.;)
Eve

Chris Wood said...

Giving out Jack instead of Halloween candy?

Fantastic idea!

eve cleveland said...

Groovy Black Chick!
Please call me "The Groovy White Trash Chick!" We can have a heap a fun together! So glad you stopped by...did you bring me a lipstick?
Love you, Girl!
Eve

eve cleveland said...

Chris Wood...
"Aimin' to please" that's ma motto!
Eve

Da Old Man said...

Sounds like you are putting some fun in Halloween. I give out aspirin samples. The kids just don't seem to appreciate them.

Deb said...

Geeze, I only get one trick-or-treater per year. Think it would be OK to give out a gallon of JD? Poor thing. She looks so pitiful all by herself with her empty pillow case, blacked out teeth, hair in pin curls. Wait a minute. I think she has a southern drawl....Eve??

eve cleveland said...

Old Man..
Baby...they may not show much appreciating to you when you pass out the asprin. But, believe you me, they need em the next day!
Hearts, kittens and Twister,
Eve

eve cleveland said...

Deb,
Sorry, Hon..that was one of my Juniorettes I sent up there to stay with you for a while. Did she not give you the note? Gotdamit, we went over that! Just keep her till the summer and I gone be up there to collect her rump along with the baby, if you don't want it. Thank you so much.
Eve

The Hussy Housewife said...

I thought you wrere giving out crabs to the kiddos? Don't be shy..pass those around!

I am commin over to your place.

rusty said...

Omg, I love that its a package store, I thought we only had package stores aka "packees" in Massachusetts lmao! That made me chuckle.

eve cleveland said...

Jamie..
I know you got no shortage of crabs at your well manicured home. But come on over and brang them sugar pills!
Eve

eve cleveland said...

Rusty..
Hey, Darlin! Down south we call 'em "package stores" so the Baptists don't know what we is up to.
Eve

If Mama ain't happy...somebody's gonna get kilt.