That's a pithcer of me and ma twin, Tinsel. Does Pollock on ma shoulder make ma butt look big?

Twins Trailer Trash

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Well, hey there! I'm so glad you're back. You look cute today. If you saw my picture at the bottom of this post, then you know it is sideways. Sawrry. I didn't think anyone would notice. Do y'all know how to fix that? I was proud that I could get it on there in the first place. Guess what! I've had some questions from readers and thought it might be a good idea to feature a few of them. As you can imagine, people are always asking me for advice. Here are some interesting queries I got this morning:

Dear Eve,
Is it wrong to put my 3 year old son on ebay? He is a holy terror!

Dear Thelma386,
Let me say that I get this question a lot. No, it's not wrong, but you may want to consider a few things before you list him. Most importantly, is he an attractive child? If not, be sure to photo shop his picture before you post it. Always put a picture of whatever you are selling on ebay, if you don't, it makes people suspicious. Secondly, do NOT mention his bad behavior in your item description. Focus on his strengths. For example, is he potty trained? That adds value. Lastly, put a stiff minimum bid on him, or you will seem desperate. Don't make the reserve too high or you will have to relist him and that's never good. You may want to include all of his toys, clothing and furniture in the deal too. Good luck and let me know how much you get for him!

Dear Eve,
Is it possible to die of boredom?
Jake W.

Dear, Jake W.
Of course it is, Silly! People do it all the time in nursing homes. Left untreated boredom is fatal. It's a bad way to go because it takes so long and is obviously really dull. People who die of boredom usually bore their friends and loved ones while they are passing. Nobody wants to hear about someone being bored to death. Remember, dying of boredom is possible but it is also preventable.

Dear Eve,
My life is just a string of repetitive events that I perform over and over. The days blur together with no visible seam. I feel like I am trapped in the movie Groundhog Day. What can I do to stop the cycle?

Dear, Tammi,
God, how many times have we been over this? Like I told you yesterday, do something you can only do once! I suggested you have all your teeth pulled or get a hysterectomy, remember? Help me help you.

Dear Eve,
Why don't they package light bulbs and eggs the way they package things that aren't breakable? I had to get a buzz saw to open a box of pool balls I ordered but my eggs and light bulbs are always broken by the time I get them home.
Edith Berkley

Dear Edith,
I've got good news for you! Broken light bulbs make a delicious snack! Just put them on a cookie sheet with gobs of butter and salt. Bake at 350 for 5 minutes. Serve immediately, they are not good once they get cold. Here's another tip- you have to break eggs before you use them anyway so you are really saving valuable time there!

What do you think? If you need advice please ask me. Knowing what other people should do is a gift and I love to share it!


If Mama ain't happy...somebody's gonna get kilt.