Well, last night ended badly! It was the perfect evening for a while.... moonlight, Lynyrd Skynyrd, good buzz goin', the smell of Avon Skin So Soft and Crisco, whispers and giggles, nekkidness....just the two of us all alone out on Slick's houseboat that I had borrowed till dawn. It was the kind of stuff lastin' memories are made of -course, I am always too drunk to remember 'em. But you get the idea.
Anyhoo, it was goin' along just fine and we moved our lil party for two up to the top of the house boat. It was workin' for me until Baby started gettin' all jiggy! I told him to settle down 'cause that boat was already listing to the side pretty bad. Some things are better saved for dry land. Would he listen to me? Oh, Heyall to the no! He just kept right on goin'. I've spent a lot of time on the water and I do have a Ph.D in Physics. The center of gravity on that boat is too high to accommodate much rockin'. I kept screamin' over AC/DC's " You shook me all night long". That man just went on pretendin' not to hear me, I wish I had a dollar for everytime that's happened..... oh, wait, I do. So much for me ever tryin' to relax and enjoy my off time!
Yep, we were goin' down - and not it a fun way. The whole boat started capsizin' just like I predicted, and we found ourselves upside down underwater in the trailer part of the house boat. Still, Baby was like the gotdam band from the Titanic! Sometimes I can be really selfish. Judge me if you will, but I just was not willing to drown so that he could have a good time. I got myself out of that boat, dog paddled up to the bank and stomped back to my trailer. I'm still mad as a wet hen. The only good news is that Baby wanted me to leave my boots on so, at least I've still got those. I am not talkin' to him for at least 2 hours! And I don't care how loud he carries on out there or how many rocks he throws at the window. That's how mad I am. Now, I got to go break the news to Slick and I don't have a good feelin' 'bout that. Men!
