We're still in Vegas but..Baby's in time out.

Hey, Y'all...I'm sorry I been a lil out of pocket.... Lost Vegas will do that to a gal. I tell you what...they got it rigged so you can't tell iffin it's daylight nor dark-thirty here. Not that it matters too much...time ain't linear here. You may recall that I left Baby in the bath full of Mr. Bubbles with his Etch-a-Sketch and the whole min-bar in a tub of ice set right beside him. I had to go out fer some bidness development. Everythang was jist fine...caught up with some old friends I hadn't seen in 7 dawg years and we got to visitin'. One thang led to 'nother, like it usually does, and I ended up at a Penthouse party where they was needed a few extra hands on deck. Let me jist say that iffin Viagra was 'round when I got into this bidness, my rates would be a whole lot different.

Everybody likes to claim that time is money, but in our industry we ain't jist whistlin' Dixie. Another thang 'bout my chosen profession is that the work don't keep...it's all time sensitive and I've got a tight schedule. Last night, the shiny had worned oft me my heart jist wasn't in it. I wanted to git back to see 'bout Baby.

But, I still had a lot to do. So, I cowgirled up and had to put in some over time but , as always, I got it all done. I was more than ready to get dressed and leave but, even with my WD-40 and 80lb. test line, I could not git that outfit back on. Partly 'cause I couldn't find some of it. That place looked like the Ho chee min trail. Anyhoo, lucky fer me, Las Vegas is the kind of place where you can catch a cab wearing nothin' but three Crown Royal bags. There ain't a sould there that's gone look at you twiced- in a bad way. Probably 'cause I look dayum good in purple and folks here ain't real judgemental.

When finally limped back to the suite, I had one of my sinkin' feelins. There was water and bubbles seepin' out from under the door. When I opened it, I got soaked up to my ankles. That was kindly refreshin'. Guess what. No. Baby.... he fell asleep in the tub and forgot to cut the water oft. I shouldn't have left him fer that long. Gawd love him. It jist broke my heart to see him weep and moan about his Guitar Hero and Donkey Kong bein' ruint. 'Course I already got new ones bein' sent up to our fresh suite. Iffin he wasn't so drunk, I am perty sure he would be upset 'bout the $1,000s of dollars I'll be payin' the hotel in property damage too. Baby bein' unhappy makes me uncomfortable, and not in a pleasant way. He's got him a bit of a temper. Even I find him hard to handle when he gits like that and I'm a professional. 'Course, I wasn't a bit mad 'bout him driftin' oft, he's one of them necroleptics..sleeps like a gotdam corpse. But, he did have to face some consequenses fer his attack of the fury. Don't worry too much, I went easy on him.

I was so tarred, I barely got him handcuffed to the bed. He's the type you got to use two pair on, you know, one set on each wrist. When I take that duct tape oft his mouth here directly, I got to do it real slow. I hate that ugly mark it leaves when you jist rip it, don't you? He's takin' a lil catnap now. I thank he'll be feelin' better when he wakes up. I got a surprise fer him....show tickets. Naaawww, I'm not gone tell y'all which show. You might let it slip! The handcuffs are a hint...I 'll tell you after he gits up, O.K? Now, I'm gone take me shower. After last night, I need to git scrubbed down like Meryl Streep in that movie, Silkwood. I'm gittin' too old fer this. I will holler at y'all later.

Baby, I got to step out a minute.

Well, Shug, that there was quite a ride! And the drive up wasn't bad neither. This is it... Las Vegas-literally the Mecca and crossroads of culture and wisdom fer the modern world. Hahahaha, Baby, nothin' tickles me like seein' you so happy. I'm glad you like the suite, Honey. It's real nice, ain't it? Yep, they let us stay here fer free, but that there is one of them complicated thangs me and you don't need to git into. No, there ain't gone be nobody else stayin' in all this space but you and me. Well, Heyal, yeah, you can jump on the beds! You can jump on anythang you want to, jist like you can at my trailer. I love it when you git so excited, like a kid,only I won't face charges. Oh, you want to go for a swim, now? Awww, Darlin', that's a bath tub, it's jist a mighty big one. . See that fancy spickit there at the top? Jist cut it on and let the water run....I brought your Mr. Bubbles. Hahaha, yeah, Sweetheart, you can order any pay per view movies you want to. Yep, I do believe they git the Cartoon Network and all your other favorite stations too. Uh-huh, I did brang your Guitar Hero and your Donkey Kong too. Here's your Sponge Bob toothbrush and Bugs Bunny toothpaste by the sink...Yeah, Darlin' you can watch T.V. from the tub. Ain't that somethin?

Sweetheart, I don't want you playin' with them games that use 'lectricity while you in the tub. Well, that can be dangerous, Hon....there is power runnin' through them wires and iffin they git wet, it could be fatal- might even kill you to the point of death. It would break my heart if you 'lectocuted yourself- and I jist don't have the strength to lose you now. Here, I brought your Etch a Sketch, that's safer. Baby, them bottles of liquor in that fridge is T tiny. It's a lot a trouble, but jist drank 'em all and they'll brang more. You be studyin' that book of food over yonder and then push the button on the phone that says "Room Service". Awww, well then Darlin, jist order it all.

Listen, I got to tart myself up a bit. Tie this corset tight as you can, would you? Naww, don't worry ' bout me bein' able to breathe, that ain't important. Grease up my thighs and pull them fishnets up a lil more...I can't bend too much with the whale bones in this thang. Now, Baby hand me that "Tramp in a Box" kit by M.A.C. Now, jist to smudge this lipstick enough to make me look popular...Does the back of my hair look like I been layin' on it a good part of the day? Smash it down a bit for me, Darlin. I got to hobble to to the the VIP rooms and do a a lil bidness development. Lawrd knows I need all the write ofts I can git. ....Naww , Baby... We been over this. My Love, it ain't got nothin' to do with me bein' ashamed of you a'tall. It's jist that you can't go to work with me, Hon. That there would be bad fung shway. Iffin I brought you to the bar with me, it would defeat the whole porpoise of me bein' there, Sweetheart. You jist have to trust me on that....I wish to Gawd I'd never let you watch that old movie The American Gigolo. It don't work that way in real life, Darlin'...... Aright, like I done promised, iffin I ever git a gig like that, I will call you on your Iphone post haste. And, yes, Baby, when I ain't workin, I'm completely monogamous. Yes, you are always on my mind. Please don't go gittin' all needy on me...Dayum. Do I not git you whatever you want whenever you want it? Now, git oft my back till I tell you to git on it. Make me a drink.

Look, I got to run out fer a bit...While I'm gone, you take you a nice hot, bubble bath and enjoy yourself like I would. I left you 10Gs on the bed. Go down to the esplanade here at the Wynn and find the shop called, Brioni. ask for Shane. He's expectin' you. He's gone fix you up with some real nice thangs. All you got to do is stand there. Then come back to suite and wait fer me...I 'll be back soon as I can to see how nice all your new clothes look in a big pile on the floor. Am I goin' to fast fer you, Baby?