SpankBank Magazine 's Latest Cover Girl

Hey, Baby! How was your weekend? I hope y'all were good or good at it. Is your mama doing all right? Tell her I asked about her. We spent some time sprucing this place up a little. What do you think, you like it? I had gotten so many ugly comments about that picture of my face, that I decided to take it off and show you some different angles. All my life, people have been jealous of my good looks, they just couldn't stand to look at that photo of me. Well, we all have our crosses to wear, don't we, Darlin? Now, let's see what did you miss around here? You saw that I am now an award winning blogger! Still glowing from that and I can sure feel the hits- a little harder and to the left, please. Oh, uh-huh, right there is good.


Let's see where did I leave off? That's right, yeah, I got Jitters' wood chipper back to the trailer. I was just fixing to start thawing that corpse down so I could pry him from my deep freeze and get to work. Suddenly, I thought, "Eve, for being such a world renown genius, you can be a total dumbass." That was such a stupid plan, I don't know what I was thinking! Sometimes, I make things way more complicated than they need to be. Silly me....


So, I did the logical thing and got me some heavy duty chains. I wrapped 'em good and tight every whichaway around that deep freeze and locked'em real snug. Then, I bet Kid Rock and Kracker double or nothing that they still can't top me at Guitar Hero. Course, I beat their pants off, literally and figuratively. Guess what they had to do because they lost. No. Those two lovely, little Nancies had to get up off the fold out and tote that deep freeze down yonder to the gravel quarry and dump it in. Kind of a redneck Viking funeral if you will. They also had to buy me a new deep freeze. Hahaha-suckers! I got all my cooking, for when Tinsel, comes loaded up in there now. Problem solved, and it was so simple!


I hate to do more bragging, but guess who gave me a buzz today. No. Bomb Diggity from SpankBank Magazine. It seems my photos turned out so well that I will make the cover. I'm stoked. It has been a while since I was on the cover of something that wasn't on the bulletin board of the Post Office. He is gonna email me a mock up of the cover and when he does I will put on here for y'all. It should be here soon. Bomb said if it sells as well as he thinks it will, they want to get me to do a spread for another publication. This one is called MoneyShot Magazine. I still find it strange that their financial magazines don't contain any articles. But, hey, it's good jack for me and I'm not telling them how to run their bidness. It's a win/win.


Well, Babe, I got to run for now. I'm carrying Bristol Palin to look at wedding dresses. From the look of her tummy, we are going to need to bump this wedding up! I'll holler at y'all later.