That's a pithcer of me and ma twin, Tinsel. Does Pollock on ma shoulder make ma butt look big?

Twins Trailer Trash

Thursday, September 18, 2008

TWINS: SO SPECIAL GOD MADE TWO OF US






More good news! Guess what. No, but you are close. Remember I told y'all yesterday that Kid Rock and Kracker are starting to bitc# about their accommodations here? You might not have scrolled down past that google ad to read it. It's still there if you want to catch up. They've gotten so frickin spoiled with their fame that it seems sleeping with me on the fold out couch is just not to their liking. Man, back in the day, the three of us used to crash in the trunk of Kid's Civic. Those boys have gotten soft, true dat.

Anyhoo, turns out two of the dryers at Won Ton's newly acquired laundry bidness have to be replaced! See, things have a way of working out. Now we've set those two dryers on top of each other in the main living area of the trailer. Viola-bunk beds for the prima donnas. Now, my favorite monkey, Pollock, and I have the fold out all to ourselves. It was the first night I've had any sleep since Kid and Kracker showed up.

I've had a couple of questions from y'all I would like to answer:



Dear Eve,

Why did Won Ton have to evict Eightball and Shugabone?

Just Wandering



Dear Just,

That's a righteous name you got there! Eightball and Shugabone were evicted because we needed their trailer for Bristol Palin and her fiance, Levi.

Eve



Dear Eve,

I noticed that when Head Master Pinhead was trying to find your current last name, he said Chen two times. Did you marry the same man twice?

Anonymous



Dear Anonymous,

I still can't believe how many people there are named "Anonymous". I had never heard it before I started this blog. Y'all should have a convention like the "John Smith" folks do. I'd hate to be the travel agent working on that! Anyhoo, about the Chens. In this case, I did not marry the same man twice. The Chens were the only time ,that I'm aware of , when I have ever married brothers. That was back when I was with the circus. My Chens were Siamese twins. There just ended up being too much baggage between the three of us, it is true that three is a cr....I won't bore you with the details. Good question.

Eve



Speaking of twins. Those of you who have been with me from the beginning will recall that I was raised by wolves in the Arizona desert. The more sober of y'all have surmised that I was adopted. Well, my adoptive parents found me on Christmas Eve. I was just hours old and wrapped in brown bag next to a trash can they were fixing to get into. Instead of eating me, they decided to raise me as their own. Mother and Pops have really good impulse control- wish I did! To make a long story longer, I have a twin sister that our birth parents chose to keep. Her name is Tinsel Garland. Thank God,Tinsel never gave up in trying to find me. Lord, knows she had to turn over a whole lot of rocks in her search. But, finally, we were reunited-and it feels so good. Tinsel and I very close. We are not quite as close as the Chens brothers, but it works for us. Tinsel called today and said she is coming for a visit! I cannot wait to see her. She won't believe how big all my twins have gotten. I thought you might like to see some pictures of them. Up there are the right are my boys, Junior and Junior. On the left are my girls, Juniorette and Juniorette. I don't know how I am so blessed to have all these beautiful children. Well, I've got to go see about Jitters now. She sounded real confused on the phone, no telling what that troll's gotten into now. Holla at y'all later.

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If Mama ain't happy...somebody's gonna get kilt.